It has been an incredibly long year. I have thought about making blog posts dozens of times, but everything has just been so, so busy. I started nursing school again, which, if you don’t happen to know what nursing school is like, consumes almost my entire mental capacity and literally all of my time. I’m what one might refer to as an “over-achiever” and have been making an exceptional effort to not just pass my classes but to ace them, which is a helluva lot of work for someone who has reached an age when integrating new information is like trying to carve stone only to feel the slightest breeze blow everything away like sand… I’m exaggerating, but I think I could have picked this stuff up a lot better if I were fifteen years younger without a family to manage and still had the advantage of living across the street from my school as I did in college before rather than almost an hour away! Yes, when last I attended college I lived across the street, and yes, now I live about an hour away. Not how I would have planned it if I’d known better, but I didn’t.
Aside from school, I also got super sick twice early in the summer and was wiped out of commission for weeks! I found out I’m pregnant around that time, too, and that made the oppressively hot and humid summer we had absolutely unbearable and I did not leave the house or do anything fun for three whole months. I mean, I did leave the house, but never for anything that wasn’t absolutely necessary. I even begged off running errands and left my home un-cleaned for as long as I could tolerate it before having to heave my hot, sticky, nauseated ass off whatever horizontal surface I was flopped out on to finish a project or make the place livable. Now, approaching the end of my second trimester, I finally feel that energy everyone talks about and I’m working myself up to not taking my antinausea medication for a day to see if I’m over the morning sickness. I did not have morning sickness with my first pregnancy and it has seriously knocked me sideways, not only because of how severe it has been but also because it has not let up as everyone told me it would!
I’ve been crocheting and knitting a lot, considering, and even bought dye to start experimenting with dyeing my own yarn, but then the pregnancy and being sick derailed my plans. As I will likely take maternity leave after this semester and finish my program next autumn, I hope to get to try my hand it after baby arrives. Might happen, might not, but I know it’s something I want to play around with when I have more time. In fact, I’ve thought a lot about all the hobbies I want to cultivate when I’m finally working as a nurse. I want to dye yarn and maybe sell it if I can manage the process without sucking the joy out of it. My husband has started making kombucha at home, which is not so dissimilar to dyeing yarn, though there’s no waiting around for fermentation, so I know we have the space for it. Just have to try when I can dedicate the time to it! I also want to start doing community theatre again. I used to when I was in my twenties, but other pursuits took priority and I miss the whole process! It goes along with the yarn dyeing: I need an artistic hobby or two to balance my mentally and academically challenging career choice. Which, it should be noted, will not be entirely complete for several more years because I plan to pursue Masters and Doctoral education in nursing.
I also want to refinish antique furniture, remodel a house, travel, learn woodworking and how to sew clothes, write a book, learn to sail, take ballet classes with my daughter, teach, relearn how to play the piano, open a bakery, live on a farm with rescued animals, do pottery… Like I said, overachiever big style. For now, I have a week left of one class, two weeks left of another, and a third starting in nine days. It has finally cooled down to autumnal temperatures and I can pretend for a minute that all those hopes and dreams are within reach while I study for my pediatrics final and drink hot tea, so I thought I better write about it so I don’t forget that I had this day when anything seemed possible.